Since I started dating Blowfish, I have never received flowers/chocolate/cards on Valentine’s day. I still remember clearly how he defined February 14th when I was getting so pumped to celebrate our first Valentine’s day together: the day between February 13th and 15th. As someone who likes celebrating every possible holiday, I almost broke up with him because of that.

Luckily, throughout these years I gradually understood that instead of out right rejecting a celebratory lifestyle, he is just not a big fan of more and more commercialized holidays, which I learned to respect. As a result, we agreed to celebrate the occasions which mean more to us specifically (aka the days that nobody else cares enough to jack up prices on restaurants etc.), like our dating anniversary – there is no such rule as married couple cannot celebrate dating anniversaries, right?

It was our sixth dating anniversary about two weeks ago. By “tradition”, Blowfish usually decides on a restaurant and I decide on some sort of activity we do together. So this year, he picked Union Square Café based on an article he read on a magazine, and what did I pick? A DIY at-home photography session. After a pretty long pause, of course he said, “Yes Dear”.

Blowfish had “a thing” with photos – he does not like being photographed and hates taking photos of others even more, the latter of which explains two things: 1) why I have an awkward snow angel Facebook profile picture throughout four seasons in the past three years already; and 2) why his previous relationship(s) became an ultimate challenge for him. You know what’s funny about life? He married a photographer, ha!

Doing self-portrait is a challenge, especially in such confined place. It involves quite some guesswork and trial-and-error. However, it pushed me to discover interesting perspectives, to be creative about composing the frame, and to capture moments out of the ordinary. Since I was more than appreciative already that Blowfish agreed to do this with (or for) me, I made sure this shoot was logistically well prepared, for him: treats (coffee, beer and snacks) to keep him well fed, jokes to keep him mentally relaxed, working in intervals to keep him physically energized, and some psychological tactics to keep him emotionally devoted. And, you know another funny thing about life? I ended up drinking all the beer, ate all the snacks, requested multiple breaks, while he sat there commenting, “This is actually kinda fun.” Marriage changes people.

Let the pictures talk for a bit.

Above – Blowfish was teaching me how to feel relaxed in front of the camera, which I was not very familiar with apparently.

Above – “Okay let’s see what’s up there… those pigeons had better not drop their crap into our mouths…”

Above – Blowfish showed me the article that inspired him to pick our dinner spot.

If I have to pick a word to describe my experience with Blowfish in the past six years, well, I think it would be “liberating”, just the way I feel a healthy relationship should be. I feel more liberated from my inner struggles with myself, from others’ opinions about me, and from my prejudice to others as well. I feel freer from breaking the curse of “what I should do” to pursue “what I want to do”: maybe I can cut my hair short, maybe it is okay I don’t feel that resonated with stocks and bonds, maybe it is not impossible for me to get six-pack as well, maybe learning a third language is not just a dream, maybe sharing my thoughts and photos through a website is not a bad idea, maybe putting down the camera for a bit when I don’t feel it makes sense, maybe “living a depressing life now” does not necessarily guarantee me “living a happy life in the future”.

At the end of the dinner, Blowfish asked me how I felt about hitting the sixth year landmark in our relationship. “Decent,” I responded. “Wanna do another six?” He asked. “Sure.” I said.

So cheers, to six years and counting.