My confession: I didn’t know street photography was a pretty legit type of photography until earlier this year. I always thought it was called “I-have-to-shoot-this-because-I-have-nowhere-cool-to-go” photography. Apparently I was wrong.
Earlier this year, I signed up for the first street photography workshop in my life – Eric Kim’s Composition in Street Photography, which is one of the best decisions I have made in 2016. In this post, I would love to share a thought that has been occupying my mind lately.
Nine months after that workshop, I think, I was still “traumatized” from that experience. Here me out.
Eric has such a saying that in street photography, creepiness is proportional to focal length. So - get close. Every photographer defines his/her own style. For Eric, he likes taking candid photos without asking for permissions most of the time. However, for the people who know me well – that is a bit too bold. As part of the workshop, he dedicated about 45 minutes shooting with me and my partner exclusively while we talked down the 5th avenue in New York on a busy Saturday afternoon. During that 45 minutes, I still remember the moment when he “alerted me” with a blink - “Fan, right behind you - a VERY interesting couple - GO!” So I turned back and tried to get a shot within an arm’s length (assuming people would not punch me because Eric was right there with me and my shooting partner was a pretty big guy...) That couple shied away from me immediately so I didn’t get it. “That happens”, Eric said with a shrug and we moved on. I tried the same technique a couple of times on that weekend – some success some failure. But whenever recalling that experience shortly after the workshop, I felt rather uncomfortable, or even embarrassed because of the implied rejection. I thought I would get over it pretty quickly, because just like a lot of motivational speakers taught me – I just need to push myself harder next time to get out of my comfort zone. Sure – I can do that.
No, I couldn’t.
I started realizing it has become a bigger issue lately because every time I tried to pick up my camera to do some street photos in the past several months, I heard a voice in my head - “Fan, get close to the subjects! Get out of that comfort zone!” Then immediately I felt the familiar dread. I told myself that if I feel comfortable when I am shooting in the street, I am not pushing myself hard enough and I am not becoming a better photographer. In other words, if I am not uncomfortable, I am not doing it right. In reality? When I am that uncomfortable, I simply stop doing it… And then, I asked myself: why did I take photos again? If I am so dreadfully uncomfortable that I stop doing it, what is the point of me getting out of that comfort zone anyways?
Finally, I realize that I may have taken those motivational speeches a bit too literally. People don’t get out of that comfort zone simply for the sake of getting themselves uncomfortable. When making that extra baby step out of my comfort zone truly brings me challenge, growth, and more fun that it justifies – I am all in. But when I go farther than I would like to and stop having fun – I step back closer to my zone. After all, having fun in photography and making photos that truly touch me emotionally is what matters ultimately, and that happens to be something I easily forget sometimes.
2016, New York
On the same Saturday afternoon, I “hid” myself from the overwhelming crowd on 5th avenue, in a quiet corner of Grand Central. I spotted a scene, took a deep breath, went up and asked politely if I could take a photo of him. I got the photo above.
Eric loves it. More importantly, so do I.